Forgettability

Despite priding myself on pretty serious nerd cred, I am not a big Doctor Who watcher. I have seen and loved a few episodes (Vincent and the Doctor is my favourite) but Sci-Fi, with it's space travel and aliens is rarely my thing. As such, I am not overly familiar with the concept of the Silence.
But Wikipedia is never wrong and confirmed what I thought I knew: that people immediately forget about a Silent once they turn their gaze away from them.

And I am starting to think I share that particular power with the Silence, apart from that their suggestions stick in people's minds, whereas mine do not. 

It would seem that I am forgettable. If I do not initiate contact with someone, there will be no contact. Even if I take the initiative, there may be not contact.

In the last while, I have experienced:

- Contacting charities asking for volunteers to offer them help, only to hear nothing back.

- Being promised to be sent a message and having to send out a reminder.

And this is only in the last week. For a very long time now, I have felt that I am at the bottom of people's list of things to remember and think about, if I am on the list at all. And I hate it. I hate that everything always has to come from me. It makes me feel desperate and like I am forcing myself on people. My concern is not that people dislike me, when I contact them, they are frequently up for hanging out. But I would love to be contacted every once in a while (I do not have a need or want to be hugely popular and in constant demand) and remembered. Especially when I have already taken the first step.

I often wonder if this is a common issue for a lot of people, a result of a self-centred society that relies on Facebook and Twitter to be reminded that other people exist too (I am not a big Facebook and Twitter user, maybe this is where I am going wrong) or that I am just a bland, boring person...or even that I give off the impression that I don't want to be contacted and that I prefer to initiate things myself. 

Perhaps I am considered so reliable and organised that people count on getting reminders from me. But that kind of complacency really pisses me off. The control freak in me really wants to know. 

I would love to hear from people if this happens to them too, maybe we all have something in common.

Thank you for reading (and remembering)!

Autumn Post

I just cannot seem to get into the habit of blogging frequently. Probably something to do with not having that much of a life to blog about. Or the opposite, being too busy to write!
Either way, I have both things to blog about and the time in which to do so on this Sunday morning. And what a morning it is too. Day of the Autumn equinox, it is very sunny and forecasted to reach 22 degrees Celsius.

So before I go outside and do the obligatory sun worshipping thing, here's a few updates.

Last weekend I had family over to visit from the Netherlands in the form of my father and my sister. Our main touristy trip out was to Inis Mor, biggest of the Aran Islands. They lie on the West coast of Ireland, so we found ourselves on the edge of Europe.

Here we are now, looking straight at America!

See how lucky we got with the weather? In the right light and setting, Ireland is barely distinguishable from the Mediterranean. Here's a pic of me at the charming Moycullen market (Friday afternoons from 12-6PM) to prove it!

You wouldn't say this was a photo of me buying olive oil in Ireland, would you? 

But I digress. Back to Inis Mor. The Aran Islands are home to the Aran jumper/sweater and for that it has a lot of places to buy wool. In the later part of the year I tend to get into knitting and crocheting and lately Merino wool had had my interest. I was most certainly not disappointed. I managed to purchase 3 balls in nice neutral colours in one shop and my husband dearest bought me a 2kg bag in the main wool shop in neutral creamy white! So I can crochet up a storm. My first project is a beanie hat for my sister for winter. I can't wait until it's finished, mainly because right now it looks like a crashed flying saucer and I'm curious as to how it will turn out....

Behold the WIP!

So that is a little update on what I have been up to. Meanwhile life goes on with work, horse riding lessons and figuring out things to do. I always get excited when Halloween is around the corner but the last 2 have left me so disappointed that I'm afraid of getting invested again. Maybe a small gathering. I'm sure it will end up here regardless.

Thanks for reading!

Funny animal pic dump.

Decided to grace my blog with some of the cute and funny animals I have recently encountered.

 Arwen, our own cat, looking thoroughly freaked XD

The local petshop has meerkats. Just for show, I believe, not for sale. They're awesome. 

It's the little things.

I confess: I am a complainer. I am inclined towards focusing on the negative aspects of my life and even create some where there are none. But I have plenty to smile about. A wonderful husband, a cute cat, some creative skills, nice hobbies, a secure job... There really is no reason not to be happy. And since I am quite a visual person, I decided to start taking pictures of the little things that make life worth living. These are just from today!

The cat! Our little Arwen ^^

Hubby having fun at a medieval archery display. 

Me having fun at my horse riding class. 

This evening;'s beautiful sunset as seen from our balcony.

The view of Merlin Woods across the road.

I am truly blessed.

Thank you for reading!

Autumn is coming...

Alright, so no quite yet perhaps. It is still too warm to sleep through the night. But those nights are getting a little shorter and I am happy for it because I LOVE AUTUMN! It is my absolutely favourite season. And here is why it cannot get here soon enough:

Autumn Colours!

There is nothing like all the browns, red, yellows, and oranges that give colour to the forest. A crisp walk surrounded by those colours, that's where it's at.

                                         Cosiness!
Cuddles, blankets, jumpers, tea..the lot. It's all out comfort.

                                                    Foraging!
Okay, so I admit I have never actually done much of this. But there is definite intentions this year. At the very least for blackberries, but I'd like to go after mushrooms too. Delicious!

                                                 The Halloween Bank Holiday Weekend!
In Ireland, we have the last Monday of October off. It is when most Halloween parties take place. I love that time of year with passion as I love dressing up.

What are you looking forward to for Autumn?

Thank you for reading!
                                                              

 

Another triumphant return...

..To my blog!

It has been 3,5 months since I last sat down to write anything. Hopefully I will be back on track from today.

Quite a lot has happened since writing last:
- I got made a permanent member of staff at work. Job security isn't exactly common at present so I am pleased. Of course I am spending my money ten times over in my head. I can finally save for New-Zealand!
- Through an arrangement at work, I have gotten back in the saddle! I have taken 5 horse riding classes so far. I want to take more but with a different equestrian centre as I recently discovered the one I am currently riding with associates with foxhunting, a disgusting "sport". This weekend we are visiting an alternative centre. My newfound love for equines is also taking me to Dublin next week for the biggest showjumping event in Ireland. More on that when I return! Last but not least some of my neighbours are horsies and great posers for my art! Check them out!

- Potentially as a result from horse riding, my lower back problems have gotten considerably worse. This means that I may just have to become a Pilates person to toughen up my core. Nothing wrong with that I suppose, I don't mind looking better.

Gods, I'm ranting. I'll come back when I have my head together.

Online presence

I think this is now officially my longest running blog. I have had a few but they have all fizzled out sooner or later. What makes this blog different? I haven't figured it out yet. It hasn't gotten more comments than any other blogs I have had (I think unless you're famous, getting comments on your blog is a toughie), nor have I made any friends through it.

The latter was my one of my main reasons for starting out with this one. I used to be an active member of online communities and hoped to be one again with this blog. I realise now that unless I show my face on forums or other people's blogs, people will not be coming to me. I linked this blog to my Pinterest which might help and I'll tweet it more too. I even started a web design course on Alison.com to help me build a proper website for myself.

Of course it's not just about the people. I also use this blog as a soapbox to shout from about cruelty free living. It remains the cause I have decided to focus on in my life and it becomes more and more natural every day.

And it's a place where I can share whatever I want with whoever wants to read it.

The Internet is pretty awesome :-)

Life Update

It is Friday afternoon and two hours ago I finished my first working week in over five months. As blogs are so public I will not go into what I do where, it's more to let my readers know my change in situation. I'm glad of it. It is nice to have an income again that I earned myself, rather than have one handed to me by the government. It also adds a structure to my life that I believe will force me to make more effective choices in my free time.

The drawback is that since last night, my back is once again very sore, and I must presume that all the longterm sitting at work is responsible for this. I contacted an osteopath I have seen before but due to a history with a herniated disc, he does not feel confident that whatever he can do will have a positive effect. And I would so love to get my back sorted out so I can do everything from sitting at work to an active day outdoors without having to worry when my pain is going to ruin my concentration or my fun.

Another effect of being back at work is that it really makes me think about the future. When I was on my own for most of the time, I did my own thing whenever I wanted, which allowed for much more living in the moment. Now I see people around me from all walks of life and it makes me thing about what I can do and what I want to do. I am very insecure: if I hear of one person failing at something I have not done before, I become convinced that I too will fail. It's a very irrational thought because although I have certainly failed where others have succeeded, I have more often succeeded where many have failed. I passed my driving test the first time, got my degree in the three years that are in it, roasted a perfect Turkey last Christmas and have many other achievements and talents under my belt. My husband says I can do anything I put my mind to and he may not be 100% right but when I really apply myself, I do not tend to fail. I also have to believe that when I do my best and I fail, the situation was not right for me, rather than me not being right for it. As Einstein said: "Everybody is a genius but if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree it will spend its entire life thinking it is stupid". And I am still searching for that perfect fit, that water to my fish. Currently I am considering graphic design as I hope it could provide me with a career that combines the stability of working for a company with the creative outlet of art and design. I also like the idea of publishing: I love to edit, in fact I can't help but edit when I see a grammar or spelling error. Perhaps technical writing or translations (being bilingual helps here) are options to consider. Other things I love are art, animals and products. Hopefully the situation will present itself when I am ready. For now I can develop myself in my current job. I would just like to work toward something.

But the next best thing is looking forward toward something! This week my husband and I booked a B&B in Bath, a place we have been before, but this time will be different. Instead of flying, which I hate, we will be taking the car across the Irish sea by ferry which will provide us with unlimited freedom in what we want to see! Glastonbury town, Exmoor and Exmoor Zoo, the Cotswolds and many other sights are on the cards. There is something about the area of the UK I just love so I am convinced it is going to be fantastic.

  Our holiday is not until October though so there is a lot of time to fill in Ireland! There are a few festival I want to attend around the country and I'd really like to be a bit more social. My unemployment made me something of a hermit and made me intolerant towards people but being part of a team again has made me realise that I can enjoy the company of people and people enjoy my ocmpany in turn. I just need a bit of a push.

I expect that from next week I will want to go out and be seen and smelled because I have a Lush Cosmetics order on the way, courtesy of my dear husband! It includes mascara, lip colour, a shower gelly, and two bath items AND a bottle of shower gel for the mister himself. All the items I am getting will be my first time using them, so I will definitely review them here as part of my cruelty free lifestyle.

The last thing I want to talk about it my art. Spring has sprung in Ireland and I am feeling heavily inspired by bird song and flowers. I am thinking a brightly coloured Art Nouveau or stained glass style piece with snowdrops and long tailed tits.

But for now I am going to give myself a much needed manicure with a neutral polish by Elysambre. Hopefully I will update again soon with some images.

Thanks for reading!
Dutchess

Bucket List

Now, I am not dying as far as I know. But recently I have felt a bit downtrodden about the fact that I feel very little passion about anything. I have plenty of interests: art, animals and their rights, spirituality, fantasy and many other things. But I don't feel that spark, that utter fulfilment from carrying out a certain activity. I don't have that feeling that I must do something and often my laziness, short attention span and lack of motivation take over. But I promised myself 2013 would be a good year so I decided that rather than looking for that one passion that is supposed to fulfil me until my dying day, I'd make a list of things I would - at some point in time - like to achieve. It is a focal point for my life and I hope adding to it will keep me enthusiastic, motivated and hopefully passionate about my life itself. I will be 27 in June and I may make highlight certain things on the list that I'd like to achieve before I reach 30. So here it is so far:

Have an exhibition of my artwork

Have art published in an annual

Have a year where I have grown all my own vegetables

Rear my own meat

Go trekking around new Zealand

Win a competition

Go on an overnight horse trek/ donkey or pony hike

Read a book in one sitting

Live outside of a city

Have a job in a creative field

Have a successful blog

Keep a journal for a whole year

Design and make a perfect item of clothing

Find my true style

Have a job working with animals

Give an Ignite Talk

 Play at least 5 whole songs/tracks on the guitar reasonably well.

Riding a dog sled

I will be updating and adding to this as I go along. I feel good about it!

Healing Time

I have not been well for the last few...I would like to say days but weeks or even months would probably be more honest. Ever since co-hosting a disappointing Halloween party I have been in a downwards spiral that has really started getting to me in the last few weeks. It's silly, life is good and I have much to be grateful for. But my mind drifts towards the negative side of almost anything and everything. I find reasons not to do something in the blink of an eye.
Right now the core of my concern is to do with a job and because I know what the Internet is like I will say nothing more on this.
Today started out poorly as usual but it got slightly better. What really gets me in a funk is not knowing where I stand and being too proud to figure it out. Today I decided to try out a bellydance class, booked an osteopathy and reiki treatment (the latter fascinated me and if the treatment is amazing, I would like to do a Reiki 1 Course) and accepted that doing Krav Maga right now is not the best idea for me. So I made some decisions which is never easy for me but it feels great when it's done.
Also, my diet was vegetarian today and I just realised that makes for another succesful meat-free Monday!
Creatively I did a lot of work on the OOAK Art Doll I am making, the first of what will hopefully be many. I also ordered some fabric to make a skirt so hopefully my overlocker will finally see some use and I look forward to putting some creations up here.
Today has made me aware that the biggest problem with my moods is the lack of motivation that comes with it. Once I am doing something, keeping busy, I start feeling better immediately.

Something to remember...

The Cliffs of Moher

I am taking this opportunity to put a face to the name. The hubby and I went out hiking at the beautiful Cliffs Of Moher yesterday and as usual I took a few photos.